“The Lafaya Way,” advanced relational philosophy was originally created to assist parents of children on the Autism Spectrum and other diagnosed/undiagnosed struggles w/hypersensitivity (overly sensitive to various stimuli) gain better responses when relating to their children.
I had been asked for many years by parents and colleagues to share the “secret” behind my success in working w/clients who had been “failing” treatment for many years and often deemed non-compliant, oppositional, or “lost causes” before entering treatment with me.
After about 15 years’ worth of requests and life basically pinning me down to answer the “calling” to share my magic, I wrote a parenting book series for parents of hypersensitive children.
I received constant feedback from those that reading the book that “The Lafaya Way” not only worked to improve interactions with their children, but it also worked to improve couples, friendships, work, owner/pet relationships, etc.
I later went on to create a 12-week curriculum based on The Lafaya Way for Parenting, Employee Relations, and Leadership trainings.
The one thing that I NEVER thought to apply The Lafaya Way to is the game of poker. As a matter of fact, I was one of the MOST BRATTY (bitchy if I’m honest) people you could meet at the poker table.
I was easily and constantly sent on tilt EVERY time I felt like I was wrongfully treated at the poker table. This would most often lead to a BIG fit and the eventual loss of not only my senses, but all of my poker chips as well.
I thought that learning the mathematical strategy of the game would help me to compete better and maybe gain a little more respect at the table. Attending the Live LearnWPT trainings with Nick Binger DEFINITELY took my game to the next level, but there was still something missing.
I knew how to get chips now but would promptly lose them whenever I would lapse on the mental side of the game. I took advantage of the opportunity to have a private session with LearnWPT mental game strategist Jared Tendler. Jared introduced concepts that vastly improved my mental game.
However, most importantly, Jared helped open up the realization that the very concept I had been living from in “real” life and teaching to improve others’ lives was the EXTREMELY applicable solution to my ultimate mental game problems in poker.
Once I figured out that I could use the 4-Core of The Lafaya Way in my poker game I became dramatically more successful at the poker table!
The Lafaya Way 4-Core (F.U.R.R.)- think of the song lyric … “boots with the furrr”) are key steps to tilt prevention/reduction in poker.
Find Your Calm (i.e., there are many ways to find your calm; don’t personalize, breath work-practice calming breaths through meditation, anger/frustration body cues responses=my heart is pounding and my breathing is shallow; I’ll deep breath to regulate those, take a walk…)
Understand the “Real” Truth (i.e., I’m triggered based on my own history, haters hate, and their hate has nothing to do with me, H.A.L.T.-12-steps based check-in; being Hungry Angry Lonely Tired might be contributing to my strong reactions…)
Respond in Alignment w/Truest Intentions (i.e., Should I focus all of my attention on this unhappy fool who keeps trying to stare me down and lose focus? Or Should I stay with my strategy and play my game no matter what, which increases my chances of winning more often?)
Recognize/Reinforce (recognize small step improvements and reinforce them highly=increases hopefulness, positivity, and confidence)