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Tristan (host): [00:00:02] And thank you so much, Donna. All right. Y’all 10 Oh three on the rhythm and soul. And as we get into another installment of our community events calendar, we like to talk with people who are doing things movers and shakers right here at home and in the studio, Lafaya.
Go Steve. Did I say it right? I did. Okay. I just tried to make sure, cause I was definitely going to screw it up. Hi honey. How you doing?
Lafaya: [00:00:28] I am wonderful today. How are you Tristan?
Tristan (host): [00:00:30] I’m Alright. I’m in here trying to figure out, you know, peace of mind. Therapeutic solutions is for us by us to us. Tell us about it.
Okay.
Lafaya: [00:00:40] Okay. Peace of mind. Therapeutic solutions was. Actually a thought in my head quite a while ago, what I noticed is that there are not services out there to cover certain children who have severe behavioral issues like me. So, yeah, yeah, me too. Me too. and basically what you would have is either a hospitalization, something like the partial hospitalization or your regular outpatient care.
Okay. And for a certain children, they don’t fit the need for the criteria for hospitalization, but they also don’t benefit. Yeah. At all from your traditional outpatient therapy, you know that one, two times per week. And so what we’ve done here is we set up a program to fill in the gap. Okay, fill it again.
Yes. So we have intensive outpatient services that we offer, which, you know, is there’s a multidisciplinary approach that we use to attack at all angles. So if there are issues with parenting, we deal with those. If there are issues with they don’t like there because it’s boring, we figure out how to get around that.
Tristan (host): [00:01:40] How do you get around that?
Lafaya: [00:01:41] We’ve used different methods, like as opposed to just sitting there talking to him, which can get boring for anybody. we do art therapy. We have ag ag therapy. Yeah. Ad server. I get to grow my own tomatoes. Yeah. Something like that. Potatoes, all of that. So in ag therapy, what we do is we take the concepts involved in farming and we connect those to therapeutic concepts.
So, so for example, for example, when you think about the concepts of pruning and weeding, clearing out the things that needed to be cleared out in order to kind of get the growth that you need, we use the same thing and teaching them how to, you know, thought change, change behaviors, do those kinds of things.
We take the concepts that we could talk to them about, and we actually have them work it out. Well, we call kinesthetically, you know, physically. And so, and so they get to work out in a different way that that kind of sparks more interest for them. The concepts that we’re teaching them and talk therapy.
Tristan (host): [00:02:40] Okay. Give us some, are you Italian?
Lafaya: [00:02:42] Not at all.
Tristan (host): [00:02:43] Just cause you talk with your hands, like, you know, All the time.
Lafaya: [00:02:47] Actually, I did take sign language though, so I have a good excuse because I’m sitting there watching like, okay, where’s he going? I can’t help it.
Tristan (host): [00:02:53] Tell us about yourself. Where are you from? Where are you hailing from? Where’s the bone?
Lafaya: [00:02:58] Well, you know, I was born and raised here in Sacramento, California and Del Paso Heights.
yes. That’s where I, that’s where I was born and raised up through 14. Then there’s a long story after that. Yeah. One or the other, we moved from there to Southern California, but then I was right back here in California. And once I got old enough, With the college here, SAC city, SAC state, then national university for my master’s degree.
And then I went on to get licensed and I have done so much work. And so with so many different populations, since from training to work with women, with HIV, with HIV of work with children, with, especially with children, with social, emotional, and behavioral, Issues. I’ve done all kinds of work over the past 20 years, I’d say,
Tristan (host): [00:03:51] Well, you spend to cover the whole gamut of all this stuff.
When it comes from voting cooperative behaviors in home, what does that mean in English? What does it mean? Not to fight over the dessert? What does that mean?
Lafaya: [00:04:04] It means that we are teaching the parents how to get the results that they’re looking for. Oftentimes in the home we have the children yes. With the behavioral issues, but there are usually lots of things behind that.
So all kids are not created equal. Okay. So certain ways that you can deal with one child, as we all know, you cannot deal with another. So we just teach them how to work with their particular child is very, very individualized.
Tristan (host): [00:04:30] Well, that’s what that, that helps. Cause every kids, you know, they got their own set of issues.
I agree. I agree. Like puppies and cats and kids, they all got their issues. Anger management for adults and teens.
Yes. Yes. Alright. So does that just show the parents how to maybe to have some better coping skills?
Yeah. It’s
Lafaya: [00:04:47] it’s it gets to be all about or not all about, but mostly about learning how to model the behaviors you’d like to see in your children.
So if you’re going off, you know, then you, you could pretty much expect that your children will. Follow suit and do the same when they get upset about those off. That’s why I go off and it’s kind of breaking the cycle, right? So it’s not, not so much a blame thing, just more of a, and I really try to make sure that we promote not getting into the whole blame thing, the whole guilt thing.
You know, we could talk, talk for years about that, but because all that does is add weight and it makes it more difficult. To do to get things right. And so, but, but really, you know, just, just teaching the parents the benefit and learning how to manage themselves, because most of the time, if you’re reacting in an angry way, what all you’re doing is telling your kid, Hey, you know, I’m really irritated with you.
I really don’t like you right now. Sometimes it seems like you kind of hate your kids. And so well you have mama when you have that, you have, can you and other kids with low self esteem. Theme, and then you get behavior issues and then all of a sudden you see that they don’t know, they, they don’t even know how to act no matter how good you try to punish them.
They don’t know how to, I don’t know.
Tristan (host): [00:05:55] Is there a good way to punish a kid?
Lafaya: [00:05:57] Oh yeah. Real good.
Tristan (host): [00:05:58] You know, my mama said, look in the further in the stomach chews and I, and that was pretty much the only choices, but that brings to mind a question, African American kids, as opposed around, are there cultural ways that you have to approach it more so because the child may be of a different culture.
Lafaya: [00:06:13] I mean, you can get there slightly, but overall it’s about getting away from the idea of really punishing behavior. And I’m not saying that the kids don’t get something, something, you know, there’s always consequences when you do this. This happens now. I’m all for that, but you have to have, but you have to be clear.
On what it is you’re doing with your kid. You’re not trying to teach your kid. I don’t like you. I hate you. You’re trying to teach a kid when you do this. This is what happens in life. There are consequences for your actions. See, there’s a big difference between it’s just figuring out how not to cross that.
You know, that barrier between I don’t like you. And I really love you and I want what’s best for you. So here, let me teach you.
Tristan (host): [00:06:52] That makes sense. That makes sense. How did you get into this? Just break it down, give me the, the nuts and bolts. How’s this become your thing? Not just a vocation, not just a profession, but it seems to be your thing.
How did that happen? Tell the truth.
Lafaya: [00:07:07] It’s my passion.
You know, I, I’ve grown up, I’ve watched for years people just, and just in the work that I’ve done, people just kind of tear their kids apart and not really mean to I’m watching these parents who, you know, their hearts are hurting for their kids.
They really want what’s best for their kids, but they are just not pulling that out. And so it’s just, you know, my heart goes out and says, I think I really authentically feel like it’s just a gift of mine. Cause it’s kinda how I naturally function, how I naturally function is. Okay. If it doesn’t really make sense, what they’re doing, then let’s figure out how to correct it.
Cause I don’t want to dis and my, my motto in life is I don’t want to dislike my own kid. So let me not dislike my own kid by doing these things.
Tristan (host): [00:07:46] Do you have kids? Reinvent speaking from experience flows. We’re coming back. we’re Sacramento’s grown folks. They should introduce yourself one more time, the right way.
I’m sure you can do it much better.
Lafaya: [00:07:58] Hi, Lafaya Dosty. The don’t know how he can’t get that right. But Lafaya Dosty, you can get it wrong two times before I get upset.
Tristan (host): [00:08:09] I call her miss African American professional woman that works with me. Hey, we’re coming back with a whole lot more or Sacramento’s grown forestation.
I’m Tristan Maze. And we’re talking with about, we’re talking about peace of mind, therapeutic solutions for the kids we’re coming back and just a few takes in the meantime, you’re locked into Sacramento’s 97.5 is community radio.
no, no.
It’s your daily dose information. You need to stay healthy. We spoke to the Reverend Al Sharpton about the importance of mental health and staying strong and community. We’ve been trying to heal the community while we’re still sick. We’ve been trying to heal the nation. When we still have infirmities ourselves, we’ve got to heal ourselves.
And as we heal ourselves, we can heal the community. We can heal the nation because we are well enough. In fact, if we’re strong enough to deal with our own internal, deep, external demons, a lot easier and a lot weaker, you’re going to rise yourself above yourself, above your shame, above the things you didn’t even want to admit to yourself.
So you can stay strong and be safe. I’m Bob Lee, with your daily dose, brought to you as a listener service from 97. We want to see you live healthy, live long and live strong Atrius to amaze back in with the, you know, we’ve been talking about so much with so many of these shows get so many influential people in here, you know, the need for better support for those caring for children, with difficult, manageable situations and social situations.
And we got missed. I’m going to get it right this time. Ms. Ms. Dosty, Ms Lafaya Dosty. Did I do a good, you did. Hey, blue star. All right. We’re we’re talking about a few things. Some of them, some of the therapeutic methods that are a little different we’re basically we’re breaking it down to the Lafaya method.
Yeah, that’s right. I said it that said the Lafaya method, you know, I was, you know, I was gonna use that. Tell us more about the Lafaya method of we get. Family’s on the right track whistle affair, the straight, right. As you see likes, I don’t believe you said that.
Lafaya: [00:12:58] Well, the Lafaya method, which I did not make that up, everyone else calls it.
Well, it’s more about. You know, keeping things as real, as possible for the families, because there are so many methods out there that people just try to, you know, make cookie cutter and it just does not work for people for individuals. They need something that’s going to actually work for them. And for the infant, for the most part.
When you’re looking at any family, especially when they’re struggling, some of the last things they want is people in their business. That’s what, but then another piece is to take time more time out of their day, when they’re already exhausted from dealing with each other to come out and try to get treatment.
Now it comes, it comes to that word. They have to get, do something. Cause life just becomes miserable. But yeah. But it’s just about really getting them engaged because most of the time you get people they’ve lost hope. There’s just, you know, they’re not feeling good about life in general. They’re not feeling hopeful at all.
And I would say that the L’Affaire method mostly promotes hope. What I do do is when I, when I bring them in. I let them, I let them know that, that I have to talk with my hands too.
Tristan (host): [00:14:09] Is she talking to the camera over there or something?
Lafaya: [00:14:11] Like when I bring them in, you know, I let them know that this is a safe place that you’re in. So if you don’t want to be here, We’re going to be okay with you. And I want to be here. Didn’t hurt my feelings. I understand that you don’t want to be here.
You know, it’s about validation, validating what it is that they, they need and they want and meeting them where they are and getting them to get what it is that they really want out of their interactions with each other. So, I mean, coin it that way, I guess
Tristan (host): [00:14:37] I’m not going to call it the Lafaya method. I’m going to call it, do a Dosty , do a Dosty and then just get the kids, right? Yeah. Keep it simple. Right? Well, you’ve been doing this. Those two things for me. And that’s called that. Yes. Are you seeing a lot of success?
Lafaya: [00:14:52] I am. I am. I’m in my private practice. I started to see so much success that I had to bring in other people to help me.
Tristan (host): [00:14:59] So you told them to do it dosey well, teach them to dusty. I mean, you know, I teach them to do it the Lafayette way now.
Lafaya: [00:15:09] No, it’s just, it’s just a different, it’s a little bit of a different twist. So the way things are done to really help make it useful to people because you can’t just take something from a book, can’t take some from, you know, just that you learn here and there and really make it work for people. You have to work with that particular individual
Tristan (host): [00:15:27] managing meltdown behaviors, reducing family conflicts, making the household better.
That’s the nice. That’s the dusty way of doing it. And there’s an opportunity to tell us about some of the workshops you got to come back.
Lafaya: [00:15:41] Okay. Well, I had to pay for them. I had a paper. Okay. Well, what we have up and coming is, this actually we have one coming up this Sunday. We have actually. Three coming up this Sunday.
Honestly, we have one behavioral shaping through structured activities. This one is specifically targeting parents with younger children who have behavior problems. This is it. This is about learning how to get connected with your kids in a way that will cause them to be more compliant. To be able to listen to you better, to be able to relate to you better.
So if you’re having any issues at all with getting your kid to listen to you, this is a good one. And then our other two are building your self esteem for teens and preteens. So initially we were going to do it for teens only, but then our recognize that there’s a real need for the kids out there. 10 to 12.
A lot of times they’re being bullied at school. They just, they lack confidence because they’re at that awkward stage in life. There’s a lot going on with these kids. So we created a workshop which will be fantastic for these kids to help build them up. We have that one actually being facilitated by miss destiny.
Rodman’s I don’t know how many of you are familiar with her out there.
Awesome spoken word artists. She just, you know, her reputation just, you know, she is just excellent. She is all for building people up all for giving encouragement. So, well,
Tristan (host): [00:17:06] you know, destiny sheet she’s here. Wednesday like irregular. I think they didn’t put her on payrolls. You didn’t mean so much. I don’t know, but she’s an absolutely incredible sister.
Who’s got a real, some real good insights and nice to bring it. Yes. Yes. So you got some things going on in November and he got a few things going on in December too. And these workshops aren’t very long. One, two hours is enough time to get enough information. And maybe you can put into practice in your daily household, but some people, what do they do if they wanna get in touch with you?
Lafaya: [00:17:35] Well, if you want to get in touch with me, then please visit our website. It’s P O M T solutions, dopamine solutions, therapeutic solutions that or you can reach me at nine one six five nine six. Five six one three for more information as well. Again, (916) 596-5613. For more information.
Tristan (host): [00:18:00] I think that’s pretty awesome.
All right. So you got the workshop going, you got the business going you’re you’re, you’re making the change. What’s next? What’s next on the, on, on the, do it list for you.
Lafaya: [00:18:10] Well, now we’re looking projecting into the future into the future. my, I believe my first first live is to, to eventually get a chance to work with the foster children and adoptive children.
That is a big one for me. I just want me. Just because, because I don’t, I don’t know. I don’t know. It’s just a part it’s just in me. It’s in my heart to do when, my son who is now 24 was younger. All the kids hold on. Puppy brace.
Tristan (host): [00:18:42] You got a child 24 years old. I have to do math now in my head
42, at least really. I swear a family I’m telling you now looking across, she’s just absolutely striking African-American sister, who all about her business and she’s very professional. And she looks like somebody is kid’s sister. I didn’t think he was old enough to have a kid. No, 24. I didn’t know that. I didn’t know that well.
Lafaya: [00:19:10] Yeah, but when he was younger, all the kids who did not have a home who were the foster kids who, you know, who just needed some parenting, they were all at my house. And. There’s just something about the way that they’re treated out there. Oftentimes they just kind of, they, you know, they don’t really catch a good break often.
And so I just have this strong desire to work with them. And oftentimes they, they really do kind of push people away and, you know, they, they pretend as if they don’t want to be live, but I’ll love kids like that. It’s like, Hmm. Yeah. I know. What’s really going on with you on the inside. So. You know, it’s just, this is my area.
It’s close to my heart. That’s what happened. She do it though. She see it up, you know?
Tristan (host): [00:19:49] So I think it’s a good thing.
Hey, maybe it should be the dusty method. Yeah. Do it to it. Give him some fluid and keep it dosing. That’s what I liked. There you go. Do your thing or, Hey, I wish you nothing, but the absolute best for more information, give them, give them the number one more gain.
So they don’t lose.
Lafaya: [00:20:05] It’s (916) 596-5613.
Tristan (host): [00:20:11] Peace of mind therapeutic solutions. It might have a few solutions for you. Hey, we’re coming back with a whole lot more on Sacramento’s grown folks station. Interesting Mays. And I think you shouldn’t apply the Lafayette method to a lot of the things you were 97.5.
That’s another look at our community connecting. We’re coming back with a whole lot more. So you just wait. This is the foundation stage and 97.5. Tell somebody, you know, tell somebody you feel .
